Monday, August 2, 2010

3rd of Aug..

2nd day of work. i ended wrk as early as 11 plus.
cus of the new office,new company,everything is not fully furnish yet hence my boss let me home and do my stuff. feel so shiok :DD
i gonna strive hard. yes, i've to motivate myself daily. and im sure im able to succeed. u'll definitely bless me with all u could.
ehhh, you ah , better tk care of mummy mary ah :D haha,
cnt forget those time whereby i call her mummy :p.
she loves me MORE than YOU hor.
u dunno only, we used to chat on phone for hours even when i aint with you.
dont envy hor. hah

i realised things have been going pretty smoothly for me,
im lovin my current life.superb.
im so indulged with my work everyday,
type quotations and invoices.
handle calls and filing necessary.
happy not? the only job that u and many ppl hope im doing .
eh, dont be arrogrant, i did it cus is a benefit for myself.
not because of you ppl. HAHAHAHA :Xx

u tk gd care of yourself ah.
if not im so gonna post ur idiotic pic up Up UPP.
if i ever heard u misbehave. :X

okay,
i needa rest. gonna eat and wash up and off to bed EARLY.
BTW, i hvnt been drinking nor K-ellying ever since that day.
applause please :)

2/8/10 9pm

im super tired at wrk.LOL.though is a 9-6 wrk la.:X and i did nth much...i didnt txt anyone , i keepy playing games. jitao cnt be bothered with mmy ph. hah,so unlike me hor? hmmmmm,,,
if is th past u sure say, bibi,no choice endure.v.fast de :DD
still rmbr my first day of wrk , first job? at changi? i keep mking noise.LOL
tho is not tough but then is tiring maybe im not used to the timing.:( tiring but worth it. ive had fun. new furniture, desk,chairs,com.everything NEW. see, im fortunate hor. ehhh, i realised actually many ppl do cares for me. infact i reaalised that im v.stupid to nt treasure my life -.-" wtf

okays, i came accross this passage,im rather guilty after reading it. if i cn turn back time, i wont hesistate to giv birth even when i knw u wont be with me till ever. really. somhow regretted.


Hi, Mommy. I'm your baby. You don't know me yet, I'm only a weeks old. You're going to find out about me soon, though, I promise. Let me tell you some things about me. My name is Jalexis, and I've got beautiful black eyes and black hair. Well, I don't have it yet, but I will when I'm born. I'm going to be your only child, and you'll call me your one and only. I'm going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we have each other. We'll help each other, and love each other. I want to be a doctor when I grow up.

You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so excited, you couldn't wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was smile, and life was perfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mommy. It will be the first face I will see in my life, and it will be the best thing I see in my life. I know it already.

Today was the day you told Daddy. You were so excited to tell him about me! ...He wasn't happy, Mommy. and i realised your get worried.but why? your started to talk about something called wedlock, and money, and bills, and stuff I don't think I understand yet. You were still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he did something scary, Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you being kicked from th back, and your hands flying up to protect me. I was okay... but I was very sad for you. You were crying then, Mommy. That's a sound I don't like. It doesn't make me feel good. It made me cry, too. He said sorry after, and he hugged you again. You forgave him, Mommy, but I'm not sure if I do. It wasn't right. You say he loves you... why would he hurt you? I don't like it, Mommy.

You didn't talk to me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay?

You haven't talked to me or touched me or anything since that. Don't you still love me, Mommy? I still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when you sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hug me with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. Why don't you do that when you're awake, any more?

I'm 10-11 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren't you proud of me? We're going somewhere today, and it's somewhere new. I'm excited. It looks like a hospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mommy. Did I tell you that? I hope you're as excited as I am. I can't wait.

...Mommy, I'm getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don't know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think something's going to happen soon. I'm really, really, really scared, Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love you!

Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It feels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!

Don't worry Mommy, I'm safe. I'm in heaven with the angels now. They told me what you did, and they said it's called an abortion.

Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don't you love me any more? Why did you get rid of me? I'm really, really, really sorry if I did something wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart. Why don't you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I want to live, Mommy! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not care about me, and not talk to me. Didn't I love you enough? Please say you'll keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and watch the clouds and see your face and grow up and be a doctor. I don't want to be here, I want you to love me again! I'm really really really sorry if I did something wrong. I love you!


I love you, Mommy.

Every abortion is just…

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

8:45am

4 more days to th day we r tgt 3 yrs back (: time flies.
your image seems to slowly vanish from my vision...
is a good thing though.
you said u've got a gf,ur gf is her.
well, ive got nothing to say and i shall say that's the both of your luck.
is a blessing in disguise i supposed.
i doesnt feel a thing after you told me.
instead, u motivated me to work n strive harder for my future.
not involving with any guys arnd.(:
perhaps one day when i think back, i really gonna thanks you,limjilong.
thanks you for just slammed me back to reality, had a gr8 fall.
it used to hurts me alot alot alot.the pain that noone can feel.
but now i've learnt to pick myself up.though everyone arnd me cares,they loves me dearly,
but thrs nth that they can do,all i can say is that i've to learn to pick myself up if not,noone wld be able to help me too.i've learnt to see diff FACES of ppl.DIFF SIDE. (: thanksfully i didnt really trust ANYONE. everyone helped you with a reason,and you will find that reason one day.
i know is difficult for you too but i believe you will b happy for me , dont you?
least ive learned to walk alone.independently w/o any help. only good memories are meant to be kept. agreed? dont blame urself for hitting ur loved one. cus she simply didnt put the blames on you. all she hope was to see u succeed in ur career.dont let burden , add on to ur burden. u knw what i meant(: im fine these days. i've learnt to let go. really, i believe this time round i wld move on ...your words that day tounched me,u really did. but nxt day i seen another u . and the following day, a brand new unfamiliar one that i used to knw. i knw everything u did is for a reason, the reason why u wld rather told me i oso knw even though if u kept quiet, i wld nvr found out.(: i knw why u chose to hurt me badly and put on a strong front, i knw every lil reason behind it (: i smile after knowing. thanks bi. enough of th rants, i needa go work alrdy.(: