Saturday, November 7, 2009

60th day without you

Well, is almost 8am now =)

today would be the 60th day w/o you by my side.
slowly bits by bits, im getting used to all this.
No longer wake up with a big warm hug from u or to u.
No longer dark coffee with 2 scoops of sugar.
No longer tidying bed for you (:

I've heard from ppl tt came to find me just now at my wrk place tt u were at TG PGR.
Cool man, LOL. please control your limit of drinking, if u're drinking.

Hmmmmm, to be frank,
Being a dancer, comments from you does affect me but,
remember tt i earn by dancing and selling shots. Maybe to u, u're kind of conservative type so u will find that is not a decent job.but well, i didnt do anything to betray my self =) please dont look down on us as we work with our strength too.

Heard that u're leaving soon soon soon T.T
The thought of that actually make me have a kind of weird feelings inside.
i dunno why. sometimes i yearn to see you even from far far away,but sometimes i told myself never. Never because i might tear at the very sight of you or i dunno how to react like should i says Hi or should i just avoid.sounds rather contradicting right? haha.

Days w/o you pass fast too but it really hurts alot.
Sometimes i ask myself,
if im still with you, i wont be a dancer.
If im still with you, what would i be like?
If im still with you, how will everything goes?

but now....

im not with you, im a dancer.
im not with you, im totally changed.
Im not with you, everything turns hectic.


I party till the morning break,
I dunno why.
Tried staying home not gg out, yet i cant seems to fall aslp.
all i did was think and thoughts.

i rather i party and party.
dance and dance,
drink and drink.
like how u did.

Perhaps this is our good ending.
you chosen to avoid me might be or might not be a good thing.
You make me miss you terribly and wondering how u're
good thing to avoid knowing anything bout you.
Least i wont feels sad.

u and your girl looks compatible =)
enjoy , boy.
I give you my blessing, till the end.

The reason why i would open this blog is to let you know what im feeling.
even though we didnt cntct nor show, i still cares(:
i maybe bad at talking ,
but u should know me well enough.
i used to think that w/o you is the end for me.
The very first big break ups,
I attempted suicide.
I dunno why did i done so, but well,
i just only wants you to never leave me.
i thought im the most contented person in the world but hell no!
You broke my trust .
maybe tt is wat we call what goes around comes around.
You were a fine sweet nice and indeed my super god-like boyfriend.
we were like honey to bee.
but well, i knew im the one who started first,
i did the very first mistakes and then.......
everything started.

Maybe i didnt realise at tt time that im in fault but well,
time heals all wounds and time can actually make a person grow.
I've learnt from my previous mistakes;
never will i allow hisrtory to reapt itself.
Or should i says,
i let ppl enter into my life but very cautious.
I'm being hurt once, twice but never THRICE!
letting go makes me become stronger than i ever thought.
r/s actually isnt my priority now.
I needa work and save,
firstly, save for my dad least he comes out he has got some cash in hand.
secly, to further my studies.
thirdly, for my own maintenace.

I'm a big girl now(:
yea, i dun cry but i reminisce.
i thank god for giving me a great,you , before.

as for vuitton,
she's utterly naughty (:
she's cute too.
Maybe ltr im brnging her to grooming.
no worry, i will treat every lil gift from you like gems.
Gems are rare, gift from you will nvr happen again = rare

i shall stop here,
shall continue tmr....

and ya,
nowadays weather is real bad.
like me,
im coughing and coughing,
down with super bad flu and bad throat,
so well,
please please please Xx 984272191021102


chan kit teung kun

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